Monday, January 5, 2009


Today I’ve learn a new songs.I never heard that songs, title “Breathe Again” by Juwita Suwito. When I heard this song for the first time and see the lyrics, it’s remind me about my first day in UiTM, Segamat Johor. This songs is about how we want to start a new life after we have to left all the sweet memory. I remember when the first time I walk into the UiTM Segamat Johor, I was alone and I have no friend at all. At that moment, I felt very afraid because I don’t know anybody in here. It’s totally different when I’m at the secondary school. At the secondary school, I already have many friends all are they were very kind but here in UiTM, I really don’t know what kind of people I’ll meet, whether they’re are good or otherwise. So, now I feel that it’s very hard to start a new life when I’ve to leave all my old life that full with memory even though its pain. I don’t know whether my new life will same goes to my past experience or, I don’t know.

Zulaikha was my first friend in UiTM Segamat Johor. Yes! I still remember that!! When my family left me, I’m very sad because I don’t know with who I want to speak and so on. But I always remind myself about what is my purpose to come here, so I left all the sad things behind and start a new life as a students of UiTM and also have to learn how to do all works by my own, how to communicate with other people and so on. So, I tried to make friend and still fresh in my mind that Zulaikha was my first friend in the UiTM. Then I meet with Hidayah, Ummi, Irah,Ana and many else. I felt very happy and I also get a nick name, Apek!! Its sounds like a boys name but I don’t care about it, as long as I can have a lot of friends. Maybe I got that name because I look like a boyish. I don’t care because I’m very happy right now; I already have a new friend, with a new environment, the way I dress up to class, no more uniforms, the way I study and so on. Its totally different when I’m at the secondary school. I’m very happy.

Sometimes, I didn’t realize that our life will not always happy every time. Even though I’ve many friends that like to be my friends, but there is also a people who doesn’t like the way I am. Seriously, I never disturb other people life but I really don’t understand why people like to disturb my life and get into my life. They make a stories about me that I don’t even know where did they get the stories and the most important all the stories that they made is all lie and not true! I’m very upset and don’t know want to tell who. I also has been slander by one of my friend. She said to everybody that I’m a lesbian because have affair with one of my senior. I felt so sad and almost everyday I’ll cry and stay away from everybody. Sometimes, when I sit alone, my tears will suddenly fall. At that time I felt so sad and I realize that we can’t just simply trust a people 100percent!!

Then I think why I’ve to run away from this problem and stay away from everybody and I know that it will never be solve if I still run away and not try to solve face the problem. On the other hand, why I’ve o run while I’m not make any mistakes all the stories is absolutely wrong. It’s a nature of human being that will never stop talking about other people without look at their self. So, I promise to myself that I will never run away from the problem and I’ll try to face the problem with all my strength and of course with help from Allah. I also has learn a lesson from what already happen to me. I’ll not trust to anybody anymore. What past is past and what ever happen, lives must go on and I’ll never turn to back and be a more careful person.

I know that Allah is fair to all people. After all things that I’ve pass through, I said to myself that I want to forget all things that happen to me before this and I want to build up a new life here, more peaceful without a bad things that happen to me at the past. I know its sound ridiculous and impossible, but I’ll try my best. Now, I had a sister, name Fadzliana Mustapa. She’s very understood me and very kind to me. I love her. She is the person who has been slander as my lesbian partner but she is very cool and patient in handle it. Now I don’t care what people want to talk about me, as long as I know what I do. Besides that, I also active with Futsal teams and I have been chosen to be one of the player that will go the KARISMA. The most things that I’ll never forget is when I get a Dean List (DL) for the second time in the semester.

So, from this song, I learn many things like I know that we will never be at the same place like what we are now. Things will come and go, whether in good or bad condition and that we will never know. We will past through all the happiest moment and also all a pain. Even though it’s hurt, but we have to face it. Like I said, what ever happen, life must go on. Don’t you ever try to run away from the reality because it will come to you even you try to run away. Anything can be solve if we try to find out a way and plus with a pray to God, finally we will find the way out of the problem. Trust me! So, from the experience we have to learn and start anew day without make a same mistake. Its same goes to me. Today I’ll start my new day with anew spirit! Go for it Apek!!


  1. After reading your post, I realized that you have been through a lot, and I respect you for that. So what if you are different? Life is boring is everyone/everything is the same, right?

    Don't listen to what these backstabbers say about you. You don't have any reason to be afraid if you didn't do anything bad. Bravo on getting Dean's List two times in a row! That is definitely not an easy task to achieve!

    It's good that you joined the futsal team for KARISMA. Unleash your negative energy as you kick the ball. It will be a good therapy rather than getting into a fight with others. (Blogging is also a good therapy to unleash your feelings).

    Your language is quite good compared to the rest of your classmates. Of course there are a few grammatical errors and wrong choice of words, but it's only normal. You will improve if you continue to write in English. I look forward to your next entry.

    Oh, and please put another space to separate the paragraphs. :)

  2. that must go on..!!!!
    i know ur can solve the promble coz u the strong person..
    i trust that u can sucees in ur life..
    gud luck...!!!!
    (p/s sorry r if wrong word or spelling)

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  4. hey. jst blog-hopping.
    cdeyh kn mase 1st day kt uni?
    1st week tue i mnangis je kot.
    tgk org laen sume ade mmbe.
    cm loser plak ak jd..haish
    sbb 3 of my angels dpt uni same, excpt for me.
    and guess wut? tige2 tue pon study kt uitm segamat!
    neway girl, score utk DL lg k!
    just be urself..=) jgn heran kt sume mami jarum tu

  5. nice work gurl.. not everyone can do what you have done when hv been labeled to something bad,like lesbian,gay etc...but you succed to run through the problem n break it by your own..well done..nice to be your classmate this semester..hope we can get a long each other n bring back a medal for Karisma this year..gud luck..